Some day I would love to have a booth in an antique store-- full of "treasures".
Some day I would would like to buy a really old house, fix it up, and live in it (or sell it :0). I fondly refer to this idea as "nesting".
Some day I would like to teach preschoolers again.
Some day I would like to live in a small town again.
Some day I would like to live out in the country, so that I could have all the puppies, kitties, and pets that I want.
Some day I would like my own flower and vegetable gardens.
Some day I would like to have a screened porch so I can sit comfortably outside at night and hear the rain.
Some day I would like to sing with the church worship team on stage.
Some day I hope to not be homesick anymore.
Some days I wish I could adopt a baby. I'm not ready for this time in my life to end. I long for children to be all around me. I love to be on their eye level-- hugging, loving, teaching, and singing.
These "some day" dreams are difficult for me. They're in my heart..... but, after all they're all about ME. They all begin with "I". And isn't the "all about Me" life exactly the opposite of living for the Lord??? My heart feels peace when I remember and think about how God loves me right where I am. After all.... how could I ask for more than the abundance of blessings that I've already been given?
Now, if I can just figure out how to not let these dreams of "some days" (that I feel may never come) make me sad.... Turning 40 this year is not coming easy for me.
I've just begun reading "Mere Christianity" by C.S.Lewis. I read a line this morning that when I read it I thought to myself, "That's me. That's the underlying feeling and self-conflict that I feel every day." He said, "You are saying what is true, but you are not getting any further." It's that feeling of the next step that's not happening and the question of why it's not happening.... What is that??? Why do I share the Gospel with a friend of mine over and over and he just won't accept it? Why do some people not see the Truth? Why do they not accept Christ as the only thing that matters in the end? How many times am I the one who's in this fog, failing, and not noticing that I, myself, am not recognizing that Truth? THAT--- the idea that I'm not following what is Right and yet I don't even recognize or realize it is my biggest fear.
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