Grieving.....

I have found that grief comes in different ways, on different levels, and to different degrees. I knew that I was grieving about a few different things in my life, but until yesterday I didn't realize one area that I was struggling. I've been struggling with heart ache because my sweet friend's mom died unexpectedly last week. My body is still trying to heal from my leg injury. While Tony was out of town we had TWO episodes of water coming through ceiling fixtures. Katie was out of town for 7 full days and we had no contact with her. I miss Mama and Daddy terribly and I want to be "home" with them. I actually found myself crying the other day and telling my sweet husband that I was "home sick".... when I've lived in this town for almost 25 years. I long for the days of Mayberry life. I long for goodness and love. I long to be known. I long to have children around me. I long for WORSHIP. I long for my family. I long for laughter. I long for sweetness and kindness. I long for real hugs and touch. I long for Truth.

All of that said..... I just figured out yesterday in addition to all of this that I'm grieving my Katie starting high school. Yes, we're excited. Yes, we're positive that God's calling us to send her to FACS. Yes, it's a wonderful thing that she's growing up into a beautiful young lady. But.... we only have 4 years left with her. She will more than likely meet her husband in the next 4-6 years. Where should we be? Where will we live when she goes to college? Do I really want her to marry and live in Memphis? What about me trying to get to my Mama and Daddy? I don't want to wait until one of them is gone to move down there. Am I jumping the gun thinking about marriage? I don't think so. Not at all.... At this point in her life we're still able to present her with settings where she may meet THE one. Where is the right place? This is such a big thing..... What a responsibility. Where and how we "do" life affects our entire little family on a MUCH larger scale than just day to day life. It's everything.

Time is flying by. Life is so short. Why can't we just pick where we get to live our "happily ever after" until our time here is done? Is it okay to say that it's not fair??? My time is running out.... and my heart hurts.

Is it a gift to have faith?

Mama and I were talking on the phone earlier today and I asked her how their revival was going at her church this week. She said it was wonderful with around 40+ in attendance. :0) I asked her to tell me something she's learned. (I'm especially hungry for the Word these days.... ;0) She said the topic came up on whether or not faith was a gift.... meaning that it was like a talent given from God. My immediate answer and thought to that was "no" that it's a command. She said she thought so, too but that there was a lady in their church who was convinced that to have faith that it was a "gift" of God--- the same as a talent is a gift of God.

So, with this hunger in my soul for Truth I had to study this topic and discern for myself what the answer was. After studying for just a short time I found scripture after scripture where God talks about faith. It 2 Chronicles 20:20 we are told to HAVE faith. In Isaiah 7:9 it says that if we don't stand firm in our faith and we will not stand at all. The next one I came to was the Lord's response to Habakkuk in Hab. 2:4 was that the righteous will live by faith. The scriptures go on and on......

Malachi 2:16 ".. guard yourself in spirit and do not break faith..."
Matthew 6:30 "... oh you of little faith..."
Matthew 8:10 (Jesus is looking for people of faith)
Matthew 8:26 ".... you of little faith..."
Matthew 9:29 ".... according to your faith will it be done unto you" (a girl was healed)
Matthew 13:58 He (Jesus) did not do many miracles because of their lack of faith
Matthew 17:21 ".... the faith of a mustard seed...."

There are so many more verses to back this up, but I stopped and was content with the answer when I got to the scripture about the mustard seed. :0)

Faith is not a gift.... it's a decision.

Prayers being answered.... :0)

Well, Katie is off to Montana! She's on a trip with Nana and Grandpa. They're going to Glacier National Park and she's very excited about it-- :0) She's learned the art of texting and she's texting Tony from time to time. what a sweet girl she is.... a true blessing from the Lord.

Over the 4th of July we spent the night with Terry and Mindy at Mindy's parents' place out in Toon, TN. We had a great time doing a whole lot of nothing much. :0) We rode 4-wheelers and the mule (golf cart thingy-- not the stinky, poopy kind-- LOL), watched a fireworks show put on by the "wonder twins", and we ate a lot of yummy food. During one of our excursions we walked out onto a long narrow dock--- very cool place with lots of lilly pads, etc. to see. Hayes decided it was too muddy to reach with his flip flops on, so he stayed back at the end of the dock. I had been out there and seen about as much as I felt comfortable to with leaving him back in the woods by himself and decided to go back. On the way back I stepped down a step and kept going--- right through the dock. Prayers have been answered.... It was not broken and I'm very slowly, but surely healing. :0) Praise the Lord-- :0)

My chairs went to the furniture hospital yesterday. Woo hoo! As minimal and insignificant this may seem it was something that was important to me. Our chairs were in overall good shape, but with about 12 years worth of wear on them the stuffing was coming out of the arms. Tony was very sweet to share a little bit of bonus money with me. The total to re-upholster the chairs AND get two pillows made for the couch came to the a little less than the amount he gave me. Is that sweet or what??!! God really does care about those little things that mean a lot to us.... :0)

Hayes is doing great. Prayers were answered with him through our ENT appointments for him. He was having terrible nose bleeds-- one right after the other. We finally gave in and took him to the ENT when he experienced 7 really bad ones in one weekend. We treated him aggressively with antibiotics, steroids, and ointment. After going to the doctor and getting started on his meds. he didn't have another nose bleed. What an answer that was! We're still keeping an eye on him and he's using the ointment because of some recent small bleeds, but they're nothing compared to what he was suffering before.... :0)

Last but not least.... it looks like I will get to teach this fall! Yay!!!!! I'm so excited. We're praying for all the details to be worked out, but we're trusting-- knowing that God is in control. I may be driving to 2 different campuses to teach, but if that's what God wants me to do, then I'll be there! :0)

God is so good.... :0) Prayers are being answered.... I'm thankful to be a child of the King.