Grieving.....

I have found that grief comes in different ways, on different levels, and to different degrees. I knew that I was grieving about a few different things in my life, but until yesterday I didn't realize one area that I was struggling. I've been struggling with heart ache because my sweet friend's mom died unexpectedly last week. My body is still trying to heal from my leg injury. While Tony was out of town we had TWO episodes of water coming through ceiling fixtures. Katie was out of town for 7 full days and we had no contact with her. I miss Mama and Daddy terribly and I want to be "home" with them. I actually found myself crying the other day and telling my sweet husband that I was "home sick".... when I've lived in this town for almost 25 years. I long for the days of Mayberry life. I long for goodness and love. I long to be known. I long to have children around me. I long for WORSHIP. I long for my family. I long for laughter. I long for sweetness and kindness. I long for real hugs and touch. I long for Truth.

All of that said..... I just figured out yesterday in addition to all of this that I'm grieving my Katie starting high school. Yes, we're excited. Yes, we're positive that God's calling us to send her to FACS. Yes, it's a wonderful thing that she's growing up into a beautiful young lady. But.... we only have 4 years left with her. She will more than likely meet her husband in the next 4-6 years. Where should we be? Where will we live when she goes to college? Do I really want her to marry and live in Memphis? What about me trying to get to my Mama and Daddy? I don't want to wait until one of them is gone to move down there. Am I jumping the gun thinking about marriage? I don't think so. Not at all.... At this point in her life we're still able to present her with settings where she may meet THE one. Where is the right place? This is such a big thing..... What a responsibility. Where and how we "do" life affects our entire little family on a MUCH larger scale than just day to day life. It's everything.

Time is flying by. Life is so short. Why can't we just pick where we get to live our "happily ever after" until our time here is done? Is it okay to say that it's not fair??? My time is running out.... and my heart hurts.